Reflections from New Mexico:

I was just speaking to a friend who mentioned the idea of changing this blog's name to "Patty Had Cancer."   At first, this seemed like a good and natural idea, however, upon second thought I realized that I still do have cancer.  

I have the memories that compile the experience of knowing that your body is acting against you.  I have memories of friends tenderly acting like nothing has changed.  I remember my family always by my side.  I have feelings of triumph and success.  I still have cancer, not anymore in a physical sense and not only in memories, but now as a part of my character.  

And I'm not ashamed of it.  I'll just check it off the list of things to do in this life.

Dear Donors, Supporters, & Cheerleaders,

Thanks to everyone who helped Katie and I reach our goal of raising $3,600 and walking 39.1 miles in 2 days! Everyone helped in their own way. Some made donations, others supported us at our fundraising events, many offered their time and help, and others cheered us on at the end of the first day (mile 26!). It is because of all of you that this year’s Boston Avon Walk for Breast Cancer was a record breaking success. It was the largest Boston event to date with over 2,900 walkers raising $6.9 million dollars! The Avon Foundation made 7 initial grants at the closing ceremonies including:

· Massachusetts General Hospital, $800,000
· Dana-Farber Cancer Institute, $500,000
· Boston Medical Center, $300,000
· Various community programs that support early detection

These important grants will support research into the potential role of genetic and environment interactions in breast cancer, a new mobile mammography vehicle with state-of-the-art equipment, as well as basic technology upgrades and community awareness and access programs. In addition, more grants will be awarded throughout the year!

Avon Walk for Breast Cancer 2008

I kicked off the event by waking up at 4:45AM on Saturday, May 17th (probably the earliest I have ever woken up in my entire life!). I dressed myself in walking gear—a rainproof skirt and fresh New Balance sneakers—grabbed my coffee and met Katie at the front door. We stopped in Somerville to pick up Todd, the honorary chauffeur, and took off for UMASS Boston. It seemed like as soon as we finally unloaded our gear at 6:30AM, it started to rain.

We ate a provided breakfast of bagels, bananas, and water provided by one of the event sponsors, FIJI (yum). The Opening Ceremony included inspiration speeches by cancer survivors and guided stretches. We began our journey around the circumference of Boston by 7:00AM. From UMASS we walked along Boston Harbor. Vans full of volunteers and crew members, decorated in pink bras, honked and cheered. Bikers from a Harley Club on their motorcycles stopped traffic for us as we crossed every single intersection. It felt amazing to be there with so many other people that the rain didn’t even matter. Then, some time before mile 5 a woman behind us spoke:

“Do you know that your ankle is bleeding?”

Katie’s shoes were rubbing her the wrong way, so between rest stops we paused to bandage her foot with Neosporin and Duct Tape. The rain was letting up but we wondered if we were going to make it. At least blisters don’t need chemotherapy, we joked.

We passed The New England Aquarium, Quincy Market, and finally North Station and the Museum of Science. I couldn’t believe I had seen so much of the city before noon! The clouds cleared as walked along the Charles River and passed over Storrow Drive. We followed the river all the way to MIT and finally ate lunch at the Charles River Reservation at mile 9. We laid out some cardboard in the wet grass and devoured our bag lunches of turkey sandwiches, baby carrots, apples, and chips. Our legs were cramping up and we couldn’t afford to rest long. We changed our wet socks, stretched and got ready to hit the road. It must have been around 11:30 AM.

Katie stretch-resting

The sun came out in full force after lunch as we marched through Riverway Park into Brookline. We passed the halfway point. I took a huge sigh of relief that I didn’t have any blisters yet, and we applied sunscreen. I spoke to my Mom over the phone. I remember having a lot of energy and excitement.

The park was so beautiful and it felt as though the sun had come out just for us. We made it into Jamaica Way and the park setting with all the green grass and trees felt wonderful after all the city walking we had done earlier that day.

We entered Dedham as the miles markers kept climbing higher and higher. There were no more sights to see or rivers to follow. Now it was the final trek to mile 26. There was no more time to stop and smell the roses or to take scenic or candid shots. Now we were truckin’ and it was hot.

Half way!

We marched up the steep hill at the end at a steady pace. And finally reached mile 25! It felt amazing knowing that we were at the end—the final mile! As we proudly marched on, I got a phone call from my Dad and I told him we would be there in about 20 minutes. Mysteriously, mile 26 didn’t show up for quite some time and my body knew what a mile felt like at this point. Those last 385 yards (the .2 of a mile) were a huge morale killer. An hour later, around 4:30 PM, we arrived at Prowse Farm in Canton, MA to the cheers of my Mom, Dad, and Victoria.

"NO PARKING. Reason: Cancer Walk"

Wellness Village, Prowse Farm, Canton, MA

Cheerleaders

The Wellness Center was buzzing with booths from the event sponsors Reebok, Genentech BioOncology, Novartis Oncology and Prevention Magazine, and FIJI Water. There were yoga classes, the tent city, hot showers, entertainment, and of course DINNER!! Dad helped us find our backpacks and set up our tent which we probably never could have done ourselves. We had dinner and then we hit the medic tent. I scored some Ibuprofen 800 and Katie had her blistered feet taped up. My family left, taking our wet clothes and extra shoes, and we got ready to take showers in the amazing port-a-showers (which were actually awesome, although I guess any form of shower would have been awesome at that point). We were exhausted. Although we wanted to get into a yoga class we opted to have a second dinner and hit the hay around 8:30 PM.

The view from our tent in Tent City (in the background you can see the shower trucks)

People began bustling around 5:30 AM and I didn’t want to move from my soft, warm sleeping bag. Finally, Katie started packing and I felt obligated to do the same. After, we grabbed some breakfast of scrambled eggs, home fries, and fruit. We begrudgingly packed up our tent with some much needed help, loaded our bags into a truck, and made our way to the starting point. 13.1 miles to go.

The route meandered variously through neighborhoods with large houses and huge trees, and through the downtown areas of suburban towns. There were signs in shop windows congratualting us. It felt amazing… until I started to limp. “Are you OK? I have some Band Aids if you need them.” Strangers kept trying to help me but I wasn’t limping because of a blister, I was limping because I had developed tendonitis in my right ankle and it felt like the bones in my foot were shattered. I thanked them all for their generosity and pimp-limped on. That’s what we were calling it now as Katie and I entered the final mile. I pathetically whined outloud feeling as though I might burst into tears. There were no more cheerleaders; all we had was each other and fellow walkers encouraged me by saying things like, “That limp really becomes you.” I had to make it—we had come so far!

As soon as I saw the finish line I wanted to collapse. I just kept thinking about all the good that will come from ALL of the money that we raised! I hobbled across the finish line back at UMASS Boston in amazement at what we accomplished.

To greet us were hundreds of family members and friends cheering and hugging and taking our pictures. It was incredible. I couldn’t believe how far we had come. I couldn’t imagine that just yesterday we had stood here at the Opening Ceremonies in the pouring rain. We had under taken a pilgrimage and we had reached the Promised Land! And yet, I couldn’t sit down. I couldn’t believe it was over. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I sat in the shade and had a snack, watching more walkers pass through the pink arch and complete their journey.
Despite some blisters, sun poisoning, a trip to the Emergency Room Sunday night, and calling in to work “sick” on Monday, both Katie and I survived! We want to thank everyone for doing what they could to help make this miracle a reality. Remember that every 3 minutes someone is diagnosed with breast cancer. Hopefully the work that we all did to make the Boston Avon Walk a success will soon make it only every 30 minutes, or 3 days… or 3 years… or NOT EVER AGAIN! Thank you for everything and take care of yourselves.

Hugs,

Patty

It's been a month!!

Since I last posted... woah, that's terrible.

As you know, I've been extremely busy fundraising. And the fruits of my labor have paid off since I made my goal of $1800 in almost 6 weeks!

I've only just started my training for the 39.1 mile walk in May. But so far so good. Yesterday I started with 40 minutes of yoga (which I LOVE) and then took off on a 5 mile journey around town. It took me about an hour to complete and was very senic. Today I took a quick 2.5 mile jaunt, but this time tried to speed up the pace a little bit. I am really enjoying seeing parts of town that I haven't seen since I was foot-traveling teenager.

Since the weather is going to be so wet this weekend, I think that tomorrow I will stick to some yoga and try to get a 7 mile walk in on Sunday... if I'm not too tired/hungover from our fundraising keg party Saturday night.

If and when the weather gets nice again, I would like to make some trips to Weir Hill and also Salisbury Beach. If anyone is interested, give me a call!

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Violet is for Hodgkin's Lymphoma... But... Pink is for...
Avon Walk for Breast Cancer!!

As many of you may already know, or will soon know, I have made the decision to participate in the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer. It should be called the Avon Walk Against Breast Cancer... because I'm definately not walking to get it!

As a participant, I have vowed to raise $1,800 and walk 39.1 miles in 2 days during 2 days in May!

I decided to walk for 2 main reasons. Breast Cancer will affect 1 in 8 women in her lifetime. If I name 8 women close to me, there's no way I can bear to see any of them going through this traumatic illness. My second reason is that I want to give back to the very institutions that cared for me during my illness. Between 2003 and 2006 The Avon Foundation donated over $150 million to research, hospitals, and social services. It's good to know that the money raised in Boston, will stay in Boston.

If you would like to make a donation to, or join me in, my cause or just see my "New Blog for a New Era" just click on the pretty pink pin up at the bottom of this post!!

Mwah!

My Final Surgery??

About 2 weeks ago, Todd and I returned home from an amazing trip to Sunday River. The next day, he called out of work and took me to Lawrence General to have my port-a-cath removed.

I was excited and a tiny bit nervous. But Todd and I laughed a lot and joked with the nurses so it was fun. :)

While we were fooling around, Dr. Gemis came over and took our picture. He told me about how he was going to remove all of the scar tissue left from the insertion and sew me back together with a thinner line. That surprised me... but hey, whatever looks better.
CUTE!!

This is a really good action shot of me getting my IV. Generally speaking, I HATE this part... but I specifically asked to have it put in my arm (because I know it hurts more in the hand). This way, because my veins have been poked so many times, I didn't even feel a thing. Which is kind of sad in a way... but good in another way.

When I came out of surgery all they gave me was some delicious apple juice. I was starving. I hadn't eaten since 10:30 PM the night before. The nurse said she couldn't let me leave until my blood pressure went up. And yet, they weren't giving me anything to eat. So they gave me a second bag of fluids in my IV instead. And I wasn't happy.
Finally, after begging and saying how hungry I was, the nurse let us go.
And I went home and took a vicadin and watched the Futurama movie!
The End.

**Since then I have been watching my scar. It looks kind of weird. So I am going to see Dr. Gemis tomorrow to have him look at it... and maybe fix it. Because he definately didn't say anything about a weird nub.

I'm doing pretty good.

I'm really busy and relatively healthy. Between 2 jobs, doctor's appointments and mini vacations... I barely know if I'm coming or going.

I took a 10 hour/week position at Hostelling International (www.usahostels.org) as the Media and Development Assistant. It means I spend a lot of time calling rish people and asking for money... and doing research I don't think that they are ever going to use. Oh well. It's nice to have an office job for once. Although- it definately doesn't beat Northpoint!! Holla!

I've been snowboarding quite a lot (more than I thought I would be) and it feels awesome! I'm trying to catch more air and be more daring... I mean, I did just beat cancer- what could be scarier? A little snow, a little speed, and my feet off the ground doesn't even come close. So far, I've been up to Waterville Valley and Loon... but my favorite has been Mount Snow, VT. Todd and I also have trips planned to Sunday River, Jay Peak, and Stratton.

(this is me and Marielle @ Bradford)

And of course-- FLORIDA!! We leave for Florida in less than 2 weeks. So... we're trying to pack, getting our bathing suits and sunscreen in order (which you can image is slightly precarious compared to snow gear for us!).

I also joined the gym at work. I went 3 days last and it feels great. Instead of trying to bust my butt on some awkward cardio machine I've taken to the pool (and sometimes the hot tub!). The pool is small- but just big enough for me to make it across without drowning. I've never been a good swimmer. So, for about 20 minutes of back and forth I feel the burn... plus it's heated... so, besides snowboarding, I've definately found the perfect workout. So long as it doesn't turn my new hairdo green.

Speaking of hairdo- it's cute. It's still super short but it's growing fast. It's showing some signs of curl which is making me nervous... because I don't feel like having the new afro for the cancer-cured white chick. But, what can you do, really? I guess I could always cut it.

I have my pre-op appointment on Thursday for my surgery next Monday (after we get back from Sunday River). I've got to get this port-a-cath remoooved!! Finally will I feel a little more like this is all over! Which has also been a little difficult for me, not knowing what to do next.

And yesterday I had the most awful feeling like it might come back. Like "cancer" was lurking over my shoulder waiting to get me... just when I was starting to feel like myself again.

An Entry in Images


This is where I scanned my ID card every day upon arrival. As you may be able to see, my machine, the second one down the list, is 30 minutes behind... but that's OK! It also lists which doctor's are on duty to see patients... 'cause you have to visit with The Man at least once a week.

In the meantime, I'll just hang out with my cool nurse, Lynn. After a quick visit Lynn advises me that I have my port flushed. Whaaaat? It hasn't been accessed in over a month and in the off event they need to use it again... she has to flush it with saline. Fine, whatever, I have like an hour wait anyway. It takes Lynn 3 stabs before she gets it, but I didn't mind because she used a numbing solution first which was like first-class treatment as far as I'm concerned. She's really good... she even got a blood-return!

Then... it's Johnny time! Enter the changing closet and choose your weapon. Not much of a choice really... and would you know, I get the one with only one string every time!! If you're ever faced with this situation I suggest choosing the Johnny that looks most new. :) You'll look more shabby sheek... trust me.

Before I know it I'm face to face with Machine 15!!

Say hello...
Don't be scared...



So... this is where it all takes place.

And this adorable Francis and Amy, the technicians that run Machine 15 every single day. I think Francis had one day off during my whole treatment. They're good folks. :) I made them cookies.


And so ends An Entry in Images.

January 7th, 2008

FINALLY... an update.

Today is Monday-- and Wednesday is my last radiation treatment.

I've sort of been tackling this portion of my treatment with a blind eye-- it's easier since it's less painful-- going to the hospital everyday like it's a simple errand. And it's so routine that it's easy to forget why I'm even there.

I drive into the parking garage, spiral into the bowels of the cement edifice, walk 5 seconds over to the Brigham & Women's building, press L2 in the elevator, turn right and walk to the end of the hall, scan my ID card, change into a johnny, wait in the waiting room with other johnny-clad patients. I usually read a magazine... I'm all caught up on Architect's Digest, Audubon, Sport Diver, and Better Homes.

Sometimes I wait for hours and sometimes not even a minute.

When they call my name I enter the treatment room through a lead door and am greeted by my beautiful radiation technicians. Literally, they're all gorgeous. At first, my superficial assessment weirded me out, until I realized that it was their amazing personalities and extreme kindness that made laying under their machine that much less annoying, not their pretty looks.


So, I greet the technicians and lay down on the narrow, cold table. They undo my johnny, line up my tattoos with the lasers in the machine, pull my hips .5cm to the left, and then one of them says "Here we go, this looks perfect." They turn on the lights and leave me there with the sounds of Jimmy Buffet or smooth jazz and the beeping starts and I feel my esophagus melting. I try to close my eyes but I can't so I stare into the big, black eye of the machine.

The technicians are sort of like a little clan of Oopmpa Loompas working for Wonka or a band of Christmas elves working with their little tools, doing all the ground work for the big guy... Dr. Mauch.

When the beeping stops they come back in, raise the table up to the ceiling, and rotate the machine underneath me to get my cancer from behind. And they leave and I'm left alone with the machine again.


The beeping stops again and I tie up my johnny as they lower the table and we chit chat and say "See you tomorrow" and "Have a nice night." I pay the parking attendant anywhere from $2 to $8 bucks. Go home to Todd and we make dinner and watch movies and go to bed-- to do the whole thing over again.

Wednesday is my last radiation treatment... but that doesn't mean I'm home free. I've already got the go-ahead from Dr. Fisher to have my port-a-cath removed which means another surgery. I also have a follow-up appointment with Fisher and Mauch on February 21st, the day after I return from my birthday-vacation-in-Florida.

After that though, I guess I'll be done for the next couple of months... until...

MY NEXT SCAN!!